Take a Seat
by GeniaTheParadox
Summary: Total crack!fic, in which Finn wishes Blaine would just TAKE A SEAT.


This random crack!fic is the ultimate proof that waiting to watch The First Time drove me slightly crazy. As I publish this I haven't actually watched it yet, but I literally cannot wait.

This whole fic is basically just one long 'TAKE A SEAT' joke. I'm not even sorry. Finn telling Blaine to take a seat will _always _be funny.

Anyway, reviews would be nice.

And obviously I don't own Glee.

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><p><strong>Take a Seat<strong>

Finn walked into the choir room, thinking about the usual (football plays, dance steps, Rachel's boobs, etc), and was just about to grab a chair next to his girlfriend when something terrible caught his eye. Blaine – with his stupid bowtie and his stupid ankles on show and his stupid everything – was standing by the piano with Kurt and talking. Standing. And talking. Like he owned the place.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Finn asked.

Blaine looked startled, but smiled pleasantly. "Nothing."

"Take a seat," Finn said bitterly.

"Wait... what?"

"I said take a seat, Blaine."

Blaine looked confused. "...why?"

"This isn't Dalton!" Finn burst.

"I, erm... I know that."

The rest of the Glee Club were staring now. Kurt didn't look happy at all, but Finn didn't notice. He was just so pissed off that Blaine was still standing up.

"You may've been allowed to do whatever you wanted at Dalton," said Finn angrily. "But this is _McKinley_, dude!"

"I wasn't allowed to do whatever I wanted," Blaine said quietly. "I couldn't wear pants that showed my ankles and I kept getting yelled at for standing on furniture and throwing my homework around during impromptu musical numbers. That's why I got held back a year..."

Kurt patted Blaine comfortingly on the shoulder. But Finn didn't care.

"Look, just take a damn seat, Blaine!"

"But Glee Club hasn't even started yet..."

"Take a seat!"

Blaine looked scared and hid slightly behind an outraged Kurt.

"Finn, can you please stop being a douche for just a second?" he said to his step-brother sternly.

"Kurt, can you please tell your tiny boyfriend to take a freaking seat?" Finn sneered back.

Blaine clung onto Kurt's sleeve. "Kurt, I'm scared... I don't want to get eaten by a T-Rex."

Finally Mr. Schuester showed up, and Finn sat down next to Rachel with a huff, still pissed that Blaine hadn't done what he was told. Before Mr. Schue even got a chance to speak, Finn was suddenly fuming again.

"Blaine, why the hell are you still standing up? Take a seat!"

Blaine stood sheepishly next to his chair. "I – I'd rather stand."

Everyone giggled quietly as Blaine blushed. Kurt looked pleased with himself, Rory looked politely confused (he was still new here, after all), Mr. Schue looked intrigued, and Puck lecherously whispered "Wanky..."

But Finn didn't care.

"Blaine, we don't wear blazers here," he said furiously. "You can't just _stand around_ like you own the damn place, so TAKE A SEAT!"

"Finn, stop yelling," said Kurt, rolling his eyes. "You're embarrassing yourself even more than usual."

Finn wasn't listening. "Blaine, you're not a Warbler anymore! TAKE A DAMN SEAT!"

"But my ass hurts..." Blaine whispered.

"I don't care!"

Finn stormed over to the frightened former Warbler and kicked his chair away, making everybody gasp. "TAKE A SEAT, GODAMMIT!"

"But you kicked my chair..."

"TAKE A SEAT!"

"What is it with you and sitting?"

"TAKE A FRIGGING SEAT!"

"Okay, okay..."

Blaine picked his chair up and sat down, wincing slightly. "Happy now?"

Finn was still glaring and had an ugly frown on his face, but nodded and sat down next to Rachel, who cringed and edged her chair away slightly. Mr. Schuester looked deeply confused, but carried on the Glee rehearsal as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Just as they were all discussing possible songs for Sectionals, Blaine asked to be excused.

"Where do you think you're going?" Finn suddenly burst.

"Erm... to the bathroom."

"This isn't Dalton, Blaine! You can't just _stand up_ and _go to the bathroom_ just you own the freaking place!"

"...but I have to pee."

"TAKE A SEAT!"

Blaine frowned and stayed in his chair, crossing his legs since he actually did have to go to the bathroom. Kurt was staring daggers at his step-brother.

"Wow, Finn," he said disdainfully. "You've truly out-douched yourself."

Finn's anger didn't subside as Glee Club continued. When Blaine and Rachel sung a duet together he was furious when Blaine had the nerve to pay his girlfriend a compliment.

"Blaine, seriously," he said irritably. "Show a little respect, that's my girlfriend you're talking to."

Blaine looked confused. "I just said that she sounded really good..."

"Oh, I see how it is... well, this isn't Dalton, Blaine! We don't just steal each other's girlfriends!"

"But Dalton's an all-boys school," Blaine said quietly. "And anyway, I'm gay. Ask your step-brother."

"100% gay," Kurt said, not even looking up from his sheet music.

"That's not the point!" Finn spluttered. "Blaine, this is McKinley not _Dalton_! Here were show girls a little respect!"

"Didn't you cheat on her?" Blaine said, baffled.

Rachel rolled her eyes a little. "I try not to think about it too hard..."

"We don't wear blazers here, Blaine! So just TAKE A SEAT!"

"But I'm singing..."

"You can't just _sing_ in _my_ Glee Club like you own the place, Blaine! TAKE A SEAT!"

"Finn, I have my sai swords in my bag," Kurt said seriously. "If I were you, I'd stop talking."

As Glee Club was coming to an end and Mr. Schue gave them all a song assignment that was loosely to do with his own personal life somehow, Finn was practically trembling with pent up rage. This was the maddest he'd ever been.

"BLAINE, TAKE A SEAT!" he suddenly yelled.

Everyone turned to look at him. Rachel had edged her chair even further away from him and Kurt just rolled his eyes.

"But I'm already sitting," Blaine whispered, cowering in his chair and holding onto his boyfriend's sleeve.

"WELL YOU DIDN'T SIT DOWN RIGHT! GET UP AND THEN TAKE A SEAT AGAIN! THIS ISN'T DALTON! YOU CAN'T JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, SO TAKE A FREAKING SEAT!"

"I can't believe I used to have a crush on you," Kurt groaned.

"_Kuuuuurt?_" Blaine pouted. "Why is your giant step-brother yelling at me?"

"Don't take it personally, sweetie," said Kurt comfortingly. "He's just jealous of your talent and doesn't know how to deal with it."

Blaine grinned. "Oh, okay."

"I'M NOT JEALOUS OF THAT HOBBIT! HE JUST NEEDS TO LEARN TO TAKE A SEAT!"

"Inside voice, honey," Rachel said, reaching up to pat her angry boyfriend on the shoulder.

But Finn just shrugged her away and stood up, kicking a chair out of his way as he stormed out of the choir room, bitterly muttering under his breath. Everyone began to talk amongst themselves as Mr. Schue followed Finn in the hopes of getting to give him a supportive hug.

"Well, that's was weird," Blaine said to Kurt. "Didn't get crazy nonsense like that back at Dalton."

"You also didn't get to have sex with me back at Dalton," Kurt said with a smirk.

Blaine grinned like a toddler crossed with a puppy. "Finn's insanity is a small price to pay."

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><p>Hope you enjoyed the randomness, Humble Readers.<p>

xxx


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